Tuesday 28 August 2012

It feels like jealousy

We have had more than our fair share of situations recently but I am fully aware of the fact that my jealousy has started to rear its ugly head. I hate it and I hate myself for it. I am supposed to be open minded and the best thing about our relationship should be the honesty about our fantasies but since our best friend (male) had been involved in one of these situations I feel so differently and I hope it hasn't ruined everything!

I love 'the game' involved in what we do, I love to watch his face as we plan scenarios only we know about and we seem to engage in things without saying a word, one look from him and I know what he wants me to do and It gives me so much pleasure to see I'm turning him on. It had never gotten very far before but I thought I knew where my boundaries were. We could have other girls involved but there was always a look but no touch rule but then I let him touch them but I wasn't completely comfortable with it and it has seemed to get gradually out of my comfort zone. The touching grew to licking and sometimes I forgot about my pleasure in all this and just started going along with it and even creating these situations just to keep him happy but ended up upsetting myself in the process.

I think this maybe went a step too far when he suggested we invited his friend around. We have spoken before about introducing a man into the relationship and the thought of another man lusting after me whilst he is watching really does turn me on but I wasn't entirely sure this wasn't just a plan in order for him to say "well you've done it so why cant I?" Because of who it was and how close our friendship is it wasnt long before the games started.

I found myself laying on the bed with both of them massaging me head to toe I felt lovely 2 men rubbing me all over both of them hard for me but I wasn't horny for the situation like I had been before. I thought he desperately wanted to see me with another man and before I knew it there I was getting fucked from behind by our friend whilst sucking my boyfriends cock. I was looking at my boyfriends face for a response and I wasn't getting the one I needed, I cant feel turned on by this if he isn't lusting for me and I wasn't feeling it from him. I was trying to put off carrying it on any further and I have to admit I was glad when he finally went home. It was an experience but I'm not sure I want to repeat it, maybe I'm not cut out for this lifestyle after all. Am I doing all this because I think this is what he wants? I'm not even sure anymore.

Luckily for us as soon as he was gone (literally minutes after) that is when the fantastic sex returned! we have the best fucks afterwards when its all fresh in our heads and I felt so completely in love with him, the lust was unbelievable and I wanted him to stay inside me for the rest of the day. I didn't care if he wasn't even hard I just wanted him in me! we hugged and kissed for hours told each other how in love we both were, it was the most amazing feeling.

I haven't felt the same since then, I know I don't want another man and I hate the thought of him being with another woman he told me that he cant understand why it doesn't turn me on to watch him with someone else but it doesn't. I'm not sure I could share him now, I feel like this because I love him and now more than ever, but he says he wants to see other people enjoy me because he loves me?! I just don't understand, I feel so jealous that he wants other women, but if he doesn't get jealous over me then how can he love me?



Thursday 23 August 2012

Having sex with a lesbian

I'm taking a moment away from the story to give you a little taster of something that happened only a couple of months ago.

I moved recently to a place I can only describe as a lesbians paradise, I have never been in a single place with so many lesbians in all my life! It was great I would go out in an evening and not only got hit on by the men I was also getting it from the women! was the confidence boost I needed but my curiosity soon took over.

This one girl made it very apperent she liked me and we continuously flirted untill one drunken night with my boyfriend snoring beside me I found myself texting her. I felt so horny and at this time my boyfriend was having a few brain vs penis issues and we'd been having a sexual drought for a few weeks and my high sex drive left me feeling unwanted and unloved. After sending the text only 10 minutes later she was at the door.

I could feel myself planning my next move, she was a bit younger than me and I felt I needed to take things gently I needed to slowly get into the swing of things so I suggested a game of strip poker. She wasnt as eager as me but after a while I was sat there naked and she had taken her bra off it was at this moment my boyfriend woke up and had the shock of his life!

I engineered this situation to try and kick start his sexual feelings, hes got very low testosterone levels and having issues as now he felt he couldn't keep me satisfied. I on the other hand was so in love with him was just trying anything to help him feel turned on again. I thought another girl added to the situation should help the only problem with this girl was the most obvious one, she was a lesbian so not interested in him joining in what so ever.

As we are laying in the bed with the quilt pulled over our heads my poor disappointed boyfriend had been thrown out onto the floor. I started to lick her pussy I loved being the one in control I'm completely opposite with women as I am with men I love to be the submissive with my men but very much the dominant with women. I could feel a sneaky hand touching my arse from under the covers, as I started to increase my pace with her he started to stick his finger inside me and I was fantasizing he was rubbing his cock at the same time. As soon as she realized what was happening she pulled away "sorry i cant do this with him here" she said, "I thought I could do it but I cant". he replied "don't worry, you 2 carry on, I'm going to sleep now anyway I have work in the morning" I was gutted I was doing this for him I was only getting turned on thinking about him watching. I carried on licking her, by now I had my finger inside her whilst playing with her clit with my tongue. I could feel her stomach muscles tightening and her breathing getting heavy she had obviously forgotten about him laying on the floor, she let out a soft moan, she tasted delicious as her juices flowed down my chin, her body was writhing in pleasure but now I was so turned on I just wanted her to go home so I could fuck him with her taste still in my mouth.

The next morning I was pleased to see she had made her exit without waking either of us, my boyfriend and I both laughed at this, "shes our sort of woman" we joked. But I still had her taste in my mouth and I was so horny as I described what had happened the night before to him. As I looked down I could see he was hard "do you want to taste her" I asked as I leant forwards and kissed him. This was exactly what we needed the thoughts alone for him was enough for him to give me the best fuck I'd had in weeks. If this is what it takes to give him back his sex drive ill happily oblige!








Monday 20 August 2012

Webcam relief

Since our last meeting we couldn't spend one hour a day without texting or ringing each other, I felt like a naughty school girl and I loved how he was making me feel. I would wake up in the morning with all my dirty thoughts and needed to satisfy myself whilst I was listening to his voice.

This morning I couldnt take it anymore we hadnt seen each other for nearly a week and I needed him to watch me whilst I fucked myself. "put your webcam on he said" I had barely got dressed as I ran down the stairs wearing just a hoodie and a pair of pink panties, just the thought alone of watching him cock in hand had got me so horny.

The second I turned my camera on I could see him sat in his chair stark naked. He had his earphones in his ears, a huge hard cock in his hand and the sexiest smile on his face, how could I not get exited over this! I had never done anything like this before and my horniness and excitement shocked me. Without hesitation I nealt in front of my laptop, positioned myself on the sofa and started rubbing my pussy. I could see he was loving it. The look on his face said it all, he had that same look as he had that first night, that look of pure filth and I fucking loved it.

Within minutes I could see the pleasure building inside of him which just turned me on even more, as soon as I had the slightest feeling he was going to cum at any second the orgasm started building inside of me. Suddenly he started cumming shooting his load over his chest, his body jerked and it was too much for me to take, my pussy was aching and dripping through my fingers and I came whilst watching him gently stroke himself through the post orgasmic bliss. 

The day after the night before

I didnt get much sleep last night, the exitment and thoughts from the previous night kept me frustratingly waiting for morning. I didnt know if the alcohol fueled over confidence on my part may have ruined a great friendship but I had no regrets although I had never thought of him in this way before, now he was all I wanted.

"good morning" I said as he followed me down stairs. "do you want a cup of tea" I couldnt help grinning from ear to ear as he smiled back and said "yes please"

I had already been thinking of how we could get out of the house so we could be alone again. This wasnt a problem as my husband had been up for a while and had carried on drinking he couldnt help himself, his love affair with alcahol had started over 20 years ago and he found that attraction possibly as stongly as I felt mine for Gary and most definatly stronger than he felt for me This for me was the reality check I needed he was gone already, our relationship was over.

"I have to go to the shop" I shouted to my husband who by now was slumped over the arm of the chair with a tin of beer in his hand and another 4 secretly (he thought) hidden behind the cushion. He couldnt even focus on me to reply so I left him in his drunken stuper.

We got into the car and was bearly out of the driveway before we could no longer keep our hands off each other. "Let me drive" I said "I have an idea" I drove 30 seconds down the road into a field entrance at the side of the road. I pulled the handbrake on before we had even stopped, skidding to a final halt. Frantically pulling my trousers down I flung open the door threw my shoes outside and climbed over onto his side of the car. He grabbed me round the waist and sat me on his lap, I threw my head back as he started biting my neck I was getting so wet waiting for him to touch me. I felt his fingers touch my lips as he pulled my drenched knickers to the side I could feel his hard cock against my pussy and the slight twitch as it grew harder was teasing me to devour his member. I moaned out loud as him entering me again was breathtaking, I nearly came in that one moment his cock felt perfect.

We had left the car doors open and had no idea that we are parked so close to houses, pedestrians could be walking around the back of the car but it didn't matter and couldn't stop us in this moment of pure lust.
We didn't stay there long but for a moment I had to just sit there with his cock still inside me, my pussy still clenched around him and my body trembling I cant help staring at his face he looked so sexy with the beads of sweat rolling down his forehead. I fucking love this man I always have done I have been fighting these thoughts for years not believing its true but I need him I didn't want him to go home.

Sunday 19 August 2012

Trying to fight the urges (and losing)

The second he walked through the door I knew I wanted him. This was my wedding reception and the only guy on my mind was him, my ex boss and my best friend. The whole evening dragged on, the party in the background was just a noise and a nuisance and frustratingly getting in the way of the time I wanted alone with him. My eyes were fixed on him all evening as the fantasies started to fill my head "I wander what he would like like naked" I thought, I knew he would never be a selfish lover. The confidence and charisma that poured out of him was unimaginable if he hadn't come today there wouldn't have been a party hes made this a special day but for me it was absolutely all the wrong reasons.

The alcohol flowed and people started to fade I was so pleased as my so called "husband" had been staggering drunk now for a good few hours and really starting to piss me off. I had asked him before tonight to do me the biggest favor and not get drunk. I could never ask him not to drink as he had made it very obvious in the past that if he ever had to chose between me and alcohol the drink would win hands down and its something I just accepted but not today. He promised me he wouldn't embarrass me in front of my friends and family but he couldn't do it and this just made me hate him more. The words that followed were the best I heard him say all night "I'm going bed" he said in his northern drunken slur, thank fuck for that I thought!

The evening had silenced as I tiptoed up the stairs nothing would wake my husband now he was completely comatosed. The first room I came to was the spare room I could see through the slightly ajar door the silhouette of the man I had been craving all night I could hear him breathing deeply as he slept. I just wanted to go in to thank him for tonight the only enjoyment I had was by him I must go in and tell him.

I pulled the covers down from over his head, I was looking at his face I had never seen him like this before I never realized how good looking he was and I couldn't work out why now I felt I needed him. A rush of adrenaline came over me and my hands started trembling I gently whispered his name before his eyes were fully open I leant over and gently kissed him. I had no idea how he would react but to my amazement he started kissing me back! it felt better than I could have ever imagined I felt like I had absolutely no control over my body I was tingling all over and now my whole body was shaking, one kiss had done this to me and I had to carry on. I grabbed the fly of his trousers and he was bulging out he was hard as rock and I was throbbing I had to feel him inside of me. Before I had a chance to get my clothes off he had pulled me down the bed had ripped my tights off and threw my legs into the air he was so forceful and strong I had never been manhandled like this before and I wanted it. He started licking me it felt so good but I just had to feel his cock inside me.

He lay back down as he started to kiss me again I couldn't take my eyes off of him he looked so different I could see the lust on his face and it turned me on so much to think he was feeling all this for me! I climbed on top grabbed his cock and slowly sat down hard on top of him. It completely took my breath away I tried to speak to him but only a slight moan came out of my mouth he felt perfect inside of me and it touched places that had never been touched before. He had his hands all over me as I was riding him, I kept leaning forwards for him to kiss me and he would grab my breasts and suck them furiously. We kept eye contact for what seemed like a lifetime just watching him was enough to nearly make me boil over.

I could hear a slight noise from down stairs and although we had tried our hardest to be quiet, in the heat of the moment the sound of the bed and the heavy breathing must have be getting too noisy, we have to stop but I didn't care anymore anyone could walk in I'm not sure I could stop even if I wanted too.


Saturday 18 August 2012

The day It all changed


Just when I thought my life could not possible get any worse I felt that curtain close in front of my eyes. The registrar was looking me in the eye and my lips were moving whilst my heart was screaming out for me to run, I repeated all things spoken to me followed by the final 'I do'

That day was supposed to be the best of my life but inside I felt empty. I spent years going through the motions, each day was the same as the last I cant remember the last time I was happy and I cant even remember who I'm supposed to be. Each morning I'd look in the mirror and I didn't recognize the stranger staring back at me.

Thursdays for me was the only day I felt something, normally a blow to the head or a punch in the face by the man who was supposed to love me. Sometimes he even told me how much he loved me but normally the words that followed were "I'm so sorry, I promise this will never happen again" I realized the cheapness of words and detested being told I was loved.